Trauma and Togetherness

What are we made of? What are our personalities made of? A lot of what we are depends on how
and who are we raised by. One’s personality gets formed in the first 5 years of their lives. And in
these 5 years, we are surrounded by our family, so whatever characteristics we pick out, it is mostly
from our parents.

With characteristics and elements of our personality, we also pick up trauma in our early ages from
our family itself. What is this said trauma? We learn behaviours and reactions to certain behaviours
from our parents itself. When we don’t know what to react to a certain situation, we tend to mimic
our parents and react as they would. This is how we learn to interact with the rest of the world. But,
sometimes these reactions and behaviours of our family and parents are not always in a positive
manner, this is a result to their own trauma, their own experiences, which gets passed down to the
kids. This trauma passes from generation to generation and hence is called generational trauma.

This can seem a bigger issue as it extends to more than ourselves, but to our families as well, to our
environment as well. It might seem not controllable as it is not only up to yourself to change but to
others also. This trauma is not only yours to solve but your whole family’s.
To blame our parents for giving us the trauma that they did, for passing it down and not breaking the
cycle, is not that great of a solution. We also have to understand that for them to pass down that
trauma they also have been feeling it. This is something that can only be solved in togetherness, and
that is the beauty of it. The togetherness. If we fight against generational trauma as the generations
who all together have been affected by it, it becomes less solid.

But trauma is not the only thing we get from a family. We turn out to be these beautiful
amalgamation of traits because of how and with whom are we raised. With family comes
connection, comes belonging, comes unconditional love and care. With family comes warmth. With
family comes meaning and identity. With family comes home. Family teaches us how to take into
consideration another human being, how to care for someone who is not you, how to stand up for
yourself and people and how to be there for someone. With family comes immense concrete
support, and also ways to provide it to someone else.

And so, a family together, can definitely
overcome these issues. There is nothing stronger than the willingness of a family to fight against or
to solve something together. Hence the solution is in togetherness, it’s in the beautiful warm
connection that we have as and within our families.

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Arya Kulkarni

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